i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this just has baby written all over it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
