If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have surprise drugs for everyone
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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