he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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