Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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