I love black thongs
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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