pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
