READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize