Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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