i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
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dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
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Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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