I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
