but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
