Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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