Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
