So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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