some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
