I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
