did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
