yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
ttyl tear gas
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
