That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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