Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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