How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
