It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
