What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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