you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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