ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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