I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
birth control should be required to get into college
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize