Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
