Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
