We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
did i just pee glitter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
