If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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