I think I died a long time ago.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
