I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
