That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
