I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize