just tell him i said nine months
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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