dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i would punch a child for taco bell
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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