so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
