I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize