my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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