i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
