just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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