butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize