walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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