Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
