the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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