I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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