That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
