so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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