Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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