someone threw a dead crab at me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
