thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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