I want you more than these girls want KFC
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is classic penis vs brain.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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