i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize