I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
