Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.

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(+49): View more from Germany

Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.

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(682): View more from Texas

Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.

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(949): View more from California

how did we start talking about space blow jobs?

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(775): View more from Nevada

The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"

(1-775): View more from Nevada

At least you got your shooes

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(775): View more from Nevada

He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing

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(301): View more from Maryland

Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.

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