fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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