I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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