Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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