It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
