Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
