u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
