Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
