I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
