I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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