Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize