yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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