Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
