I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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