Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.