So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.