Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
