her vagine was all disorganized.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.