Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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