I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
